just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
