I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Actions speak louder than pants.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
