we made out on top of his cat.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
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Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
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I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
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