'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
pray to the hookup gods
I need water and some morals
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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