Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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