TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
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We are two peas in an std pod
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
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Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
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