sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
