pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
