She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
