Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I smell like Dick and happiness
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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