I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
