Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
