Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
