I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
