just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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