Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
