I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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