If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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