D3 body, D1 cock
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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