why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
