How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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