fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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