Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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