I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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