She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize