love makes seman taste better
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
