ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
