I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
