we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
