So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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