Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
