I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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