If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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