I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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