He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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