Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
