boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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