look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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