How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
