Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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