youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
