Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
