its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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