It's Friday. Sex?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
