In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
