Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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