remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
