I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
