he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
