Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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