You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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