Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Everything about him screamed your future.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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