Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You are a genius and a whore.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
