I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
