Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
