I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
