She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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