Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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