Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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