Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just pee around me
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
