so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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