Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
my god I love twenty year old dicks
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
