The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
