i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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